Is it worth carrying on?
he gets uncomfortable and loose it, it comes out of no where, hes mad and i know it, we might be talking or walking or sat watching telly, something I say will be to much and thats it, out come the insults and words he uses as a wepon to hurt me.
I know he dosnt mean it, he is in ALOT of pain, ALOT, i cant even understand how much and that is why i take it, thats why deal was made.
The deal was on my part.... to give him space when he asked for it (not easy for me, to me giving space is very difficult)
The deal on his part was two prongued.... 1) to ask for space rather than trying to start a fight with me 2) to come back to me when he was done and appologise
He hasnt kept to either, instead it happens like this... he gets angry, puts me down or says something he knows will upset me, i ignor him the best i can, (anything i say will make it worse, when hes calmed down we just carry on as normal. Im left searching for the reasurance i need to know that hes back with me, trying to get kissies and hugs and attention. I very rarely get given these things, i have to take them. If i wait for him to give them they dont come.
This happens over and over again and instead of getting the reasurance i need i just get this as a cycle. So i get upset and try and explain. Instead of listen to me he says i should dump him, or that he will dump me instead so i can find someone that makes me happy.
I he will loose me if he dosnt try harder that i can take all the shit as long as i get what i need in return.
Accourding to him i do get all those things, yes i do but only when i take them
and so im here..... leave stay leave stay leave stay
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