so say something sweet

to get me by cause i dnt think u will be enough, then i swear come tomorrow this will all be in our past and it might be for the best.

palliative care

U walk in to this ward and its like a hotel, every thing stinks of ur getting special treatment because ur never going to make it. If i wer them id want the normal ward, strange maybe i wonder what they think....

a smile on ur face and a friendly demeanour can they tell ur over reacting or trying to be nice, or goin to far with it, some of them r young, to young.

dont be shocked that people die be shocked that ur still alive, lyrics from the song that just came on while i was writing this

getting ther

list of things that need to be sorted

1) forms for work

-CBR check

-Bank details

-P45

-Two passport photos attached sent off

- time sheets ofr all the work doen handed in

2) University

- am i enrolled properly for next yr?

3) previous employer

- pay didnt come through, wrong amount, ring them complain

4) Rent runs out 10 days before the contract begins

- extend contract for 10 days or find some where to put my stuff?

5) Job while in boro,

- apply now

need to do all this while wrking 6 days a week, tough also trying to arrange that i go to boro for a wknd, and an awesome gig coming up

that dnt impress me much

UM second best ah hellllls no is what i say, i mean cheers but no thanks am i settling for that shit ever. U choose me first then hairy muff but no way r u guna get with sum one else in front of me then try and get with me errrrrrmmmmmmm fook rite off

(wake up, shower, eat, drink, piss, shit, drive, sit, answer the phone, collect patient, sit, (answer the phone, collect patient), x 20, eat, (data entry) x 20 drive, sleep, dinner, telly, sleep,) x 16

time to go out me thinks 1950's style :)

thank god

for going out and a chill out day

and

One of my friends is really really annoying me, she refuses to take my advice after years of being upset and coming to me about it, and then she continually puts him first. She couldnt even chill out and have a good time wen i really needed a good night. I cant be arsed to talk to her, i dnt wana listen to her talk about herself and this one problem over and over again, it does my head in.

my brain has turned to mush

like full on mush. Working in my new job numbs ur brain so much u get stuck in patterns of: Hello, Holly speaking how can i help? processes after processes u turn in to a zombie following protocol and its only been 4 days! i need suming to break it up abit some fun times in the middle where thers nothing else to think about except for the good things at that moment i havent got any of that. My mind keeps wondering to paper work double and triple checking procedures things i did wrong. Now u understand y i go out even wen the work schedules full on. I'l go crazy i even dream about it.

new things

start my new job tomorrow cross my fingers for an awesome performance on my part. Sure il do fine the only part im worried about is fucking up the data base.

i deleted

the link to this page of my profile so if ur reading this u saved the address? its really not that interesting. The address is far to complicated to remember the only person that would get it is jake.

Note about my blog: 1) i dont often mention names so dnt assume u know who im on about and 2) sometimes im drunk wen i post so dnt always take it seriously

Back to life: The doors been closed and so new ones open.